Dominick John Languis

Dominick John Languis
1/8/21 - 10/21/00

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep.

A Poem from Earth Prayers
Anonymous (American Indian)

Shela, All of us share these feelings on this Father's Day..... Thanks for putting it into words.

Father's Day
2001

Dear Daddy,

It is our first father's day without you. I try not to remember the last time I saw you. Your face was so gaunt, your body so frail, a shadow of your former self. Even now as I remember that last time I saw you, the tears well up in my eyes. I'd like to remember you the way you were so many years ago. Strong, walking straight and proud. That swagger that you had when you walked. The one that got even more pronounced when you had a drink or two. I miss your walk. I miss other things a well. I miss the way you used to say to me when you knew I wasn't being completely honest about something. "Come on now." (Nikki says that now, and sometimes she sounds just like you.) You would get that look in your eye when you said it that made me cringe because I could never lie to you that you didn't know it. Sometimes you let me get away with the lie anyway.

You didn't talk much, but we knew you were always there to listen. Oh most of the time we didn't want to burden you with our problems, or maybe we didn't tell you what they were because we wanted you to think that we could handle everything on our own. That's the way you raised us, to be strong and handle our own problems.

It wasn't easy to raise all girls, especially for a man that was as macho as you were. Boys would have been much easier. You would have understood boys. I think we were a puzzle to you most of the time. But, you didn't let that interfere with loving us. You showed it in so many ways but sometimes not often enough. You gave us enough love that we wanted more. Like dangling a sweet piece of candy in front of us. You wanted us to be tough and guess what? We are.

I don't want to make you out to be a saint because you were no saint. We were afraid of you too, more out of reputation than that of actual experience. We'd heard all the stories of how you fought and won at too many barroom brawls and of course there was always the dreaded "Wait till you father comes home!" from Mom. There were only a few times, though, that we actually witnessed your legendary temper. We will choose to forget those times now because it serves no purpose to remember them. We will remember instead your laughter, your humor and how you got so excited when telling a joke or a funny story. Sometimes you would laugh so hard at your own story that you would get tears in your eyes.

I remember feeling safe with you, even when I got older and you were so sick there was always a feeling of safety when I went to see you. I have your picture sitting on my dresser, you're smiling and you have that twinkle in your eye. Every day I look at that picture and sometimes I even talk to you. Every so often it feels like you're right here with me. I know the other girls have the same feeling now and then. I hope it's true and I hope you're there with us all the time, or not all the time but most of the time. There are times, Dad, when it's best if you aren't around, you know what I mean. Ha ha!

All joking aside Dad, if you're with me now I hope you know how much we love you . We miss you Daddy, it's our first Father's Day without you. I suppose in time we'll get used to not having you around, but we don't want to.

Happy Father's Day,
From your daughters,
Brenda, Paula, Shela and Nikki

P.S. If you see JoAnn say hi from us.

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